My yoga journey began three years ago when I was desperately looking for self-love and acceptance.
As a child, I experienced trauma, such as; abandonment, rejection, mental and emotional abuse. The lack of a childhood and the trauma that came along with it created the start of my battle with depression and a horrible indigestion issue.
At a young age, I learned that life wasn’t easy and hard on those that had nothing. I developed a need to be loved, accepted, and craved the attention of whoever would give it to me. Even if the attention was given wasn’t always honest or truthful.
As a young teenager, I suffered from severe anxiety, depression, and shyness. I couldn’t figure out how to live life in my own skin, and the thoughts of suicide became a constant reality. I contemplated on the idea of liberating myself from suffering many times, but fear of the unknown always stopped me.
I struggled for many years with the dis-ease of self-hate. As I got older it got worse. I tried to stop the pain by looking for easy fixes. I partied, I dated all the wrong guys, I controlled everything around me, and I refused to love and be loved.
When I turned 30 Years old I saw myself in a state of numbness, dissolution, and refusing to see the reality of my existence. I was desperately looking for something but did not know what. I found myself wondering in Barnes and nobles, as I tried to pretend not to be interested in self-help books. I wondered around for hours trying to figure out why I was there.
Finally, I gave in and walked to the self-help section. I didn’t know what book to get because in my ego-mind I was okay. After reading multiple titles I found myself holding Eckhart Tolle’s book “In the Now.” I wasn’t sure what this book was about but I knew I needed it, and so I purchased the book.
I read the book in a week, couldn’t put it down. Everything in this book reminded me of my current situation. I started feeling things that I didn’t want to feel, things within me that were coming into reality. I even started having thoughts of taking a yoga class. Not sure where these thoughts were coming from because I wasn’t an active person and disliked most physical activities.
A year passed and many changes started to take place in my life, some were positive and others not so positive. I began to explore myself by observing the things that affected me the most. Practicing meditation and learning about the chakras, I began a cleansing process through breaths to clear my emotional, mental, and physical state. These feelings were new to me because I didn’t own myself, my depression and my ego did.
I began to analyze my thoughts, actions, reactions, and feelings. Asking myself what, where, why, who, and what. After constant inward work, I started receiving many signs related to “YOGA”. I struggled with the idea of taking a yoga class, because of the perception I had of Yoga. In order to do Yoga, you need to be flexible and have some aerobics experience.
Before I could psych myself out again, I built up the courage to purchase a yoga class on Groupon. I signed up for my first class at the Bamboomoves Palisades Park yoga studio. As I drove to the studio I noticed how anxious and nervous I was. When I entered, I was greeted by the owner Loren Abrams. He was warm and had great energy, which made me feel relaxed and accepted. Going through the class I knew that my life was about to change forever.
The energy provided by the instructor and the way my body relaxed through the class, I knew it was the start of transforming my entire life. I began practicing yoga and meditating daily. Not only did I enjoy the movements of the asana, but I found myself reading many books about healing through yoga. I started noticing how my body, mind, and health were changing with just a few months of practicing. I felt happy, open, secure, inspired, alive and hungry to learn more.
After a year of practicing yoga, I decided to take a teacher training program, in where I became a certified yoga teacher. The program helped me in so many ways, I saw yoga from a different perspective, and I had a different sense of respect and love for myself and others.
My practice inspired me to listen to my body, and understand what it needs, I started a vegan diet and completed a training to become a therapeutic yoga healer.
My past destined me to who I was going to become. Yoga has changed my life, and through this change, I developed a sense of self-love, confidence, forgiveness, awareness, and acceptance of who I am. Through veganism, all my digestive issues disappeared. Everything I’ve learned and the changes that I’ve acquired, I realized that I wanted to help others find the healing their body, mind, and spirit need for themselves.
I will always be a student of the universe learning and experiencing life as it comes. I have found something beautiful and profound through the practice of Yoga. I am grateful to all the yoga teachers sharing this amazing practice and changing one life at a time.
“I am here to serve. I am here to inspire. I am here to love. I am here to live my truth.” Deepak Chopra.